by Lauren Dreher
Confidence. This is one of the first words that came to mind when I thought of Toastmasters before I joined. I’d like to think I had more than I did. I’ve learned how minimal it was. I thought Toastmasters just taught you how to be a better speaker. Perfect! I want to be a professional speaker. I was terrified when I walked into my first meeting, and giddy with excitement leaving. I had no idea what I was in for when I joined. The members were friendly and encouraging, more so than most organizations. There was a structure so I wouldn’t be completely stumbling. And there was a wide range of experience so I could learn with others.
Walking into a new organization you’ve never been to before can be intimidating. Toastmasters is no exception. However, it’s the only time I’ve walked out of a meeting for the first time and been excited rather than overwhelmed. Both Toastmasters clubs I’ve been a part of were very warm and inviting. They had camaraderie. The part I love the most, they gave me an opportunity and maybe a little push without being overwhelming. I went in having an idea of the structure and I knew there was a part with improptu speaking. I wasn’t sure if I’d get the guts to do it or not. I did it! As freaked out as I was inside, I was so very excited.
They talked to me about the path I wanted to take and what my goals were. Instead of reinforcing my already questionable decision, I got a vote of confidence that I could indeed succeed. How refreshing. Not only did I get instruction on how to polish this skill, I felt like I had people waiting to answer my questions, quieting the fears making me question my confidence. They were there encouraging me to do the things they knew would make me uncomfortable. I got good feedback that made me feel good about the progress. Then instead of calling it criticism, they were called opportunities for growth. Back in the day, the phrase “words can never hurt me” was popular. Well, maybe not literally, but when heard we can sure take them to heart and that can do some real damage to confidence. I keep the phrase “opportunities for growth” echoing in my head.
I’ve been fortunate in my clubs to have well-seasoned Toastmasters as well as those starting their own path. Entering into a professional organization can be intimidating. Knowing you aren’t the only one there on the steeper end of the learning curve softens that blow. One of the best parts of a Toastmaster meeting, aside from table topics, is getting to see someone take on a more challenging role. We get to see them do their best and get that little needed boost from the more experienced members. The last few times, we’ve given feedback and celebrated that person for taking on a role that made them grow.
Support. This is what I now think of when I think of Toastmasters. Yes, there are a plethora of other words I could use to describe it. I hope all clubs practice these types of things because when I have these feelings, I want to spread them. I want to share my success with others. I want them to experience the support and large boost of confidence I’ve gained. I want everyone to be part of something with people that make them feel like they can do anything. Having the right support grows confidence and gaining that confidence allows us to support others. Leaders growing leaders.
Lauren Dreher is a member of Toastmasters Unlimited.
Lauren, what a wonderful expose and so well written. This should be submitted to the Toastmaster Magazine. Confidence was your first goal and coincidentally is one of the five major competencies of the Pathways learning program. One cannot go to the store and buy a pound of confidence. It is a product of our program. From my first speech – long ago when we had ballots with tear-offs for speaker comments – the positive comments of my evaluator were immediately reinforced by these comments from members. Otherwise, I would not have believed the evaluator’s positive comments he made. I was hooked on the program from my first speech.